Writer overcomes fear of heights during island hike

Posted December 9, 2010

CHANNEL ISLANDS, Calif. --- All my life I’ve had an extreme fear of heights. I’m a bit of a thrill seeker, but when it comes to anything that has to do with extreme heights I shy away at every opportunity. Even when I fly on planes, I take precautions like choosing the window seat so that I may control whether the window is up or not and taking sleeping pills before I board so that I can sleep through the flight.

While on the ferry to Santa Cruz Island of the Channel Islands National Park, I definitely underestimated the height of the hills, or maybe it was the excitement building up after I saw the island in the distance standing alone in the ocean. It may have been my excitement of being in a new place that made me forget to look down even as I hiked up what seemed like the steepest hill I had ever seen.

At left, writer Jasmine Henderson makes it to the top of the hill in the Channel Islands National Park in Southern California, despite her fear of heights. Below, she admires the view of the Pacific Ocean from Santa Cruz Island.

I may have just been tired when I chose not to listen to the volunteer guide say that the highest peak on the island was about 2,450 feet, even though we were nowhere near that altitude, just those numbers alone would have brought me back down to earth had I not been so thrilled.

It wasn’t until we got to the top after hiking up the Cavern Point Loop that I realized how much I’d accomplished and, at the same time, how terrified I was. Still fresh with excitement, I looked down from the cliff where ocean waves slammed against the rocks I stood hundreds of feet above. The wind began to blow and all the far-fetched thoughts that all people with altophobia (fear of heights) only think filled my conscience.

“What if the wind blew me off this cliff? There’s nothing to hold on to. What if I slipped? That’s a long way down.”

These thoughts crowded my mind, but I fought myself not to show any signs of anxiety.

I kept myself under control and managed to eat calmly with the group and thought I’d calmed down ... until it was time to hike back down the trail. Because it was such a steep hike coming up, we decided to use another trail to go down.

This trail was a winding one and only had a rope on the edge of some portions for us to hold. The postcard view of the Pacific Ocean should have distracted me, but this time I was forced to look down.

My palms began to sweat. I moved slower with severe caution and if I could have I would have sat and slid the whole way down. All of my fears surfaced and I was no longer able to hide it.

I chose to voice it to Kelly Fitzpatrick and Kelly Burns, two of the girls in my class.

We were the three that lagged behind the rest of the group, but I’m sure I was the most afraid. I held on to my thoughts like a guide down the hill, but it was really a guide to what seemed like my sanity. For what seemed like forever was probably just around 15 minutes and eventually I reached flatter land of the valley floor.

Elated I proclaimed, “You guys don’t know how afraid of heights I am! You just witnessed a tremendous fear being overcome!”

The girls laughed and so could I ... after a deep exhale. After tons of complaints and a huge freak out, I felt the most accomplished that I had the entire trip. I left Santa Cruz Island knowing more about the island and also, more about myself.

Jasmine Henderson
University of Miami '11